Dee Adama

The morning after, I felt horror, dread and the largest sense of loss... and it was shared with the rest of the fleet. The rest of humanity. But I also felt guilt. Overwhelming guilt.

For several months, my father and I had been going back and forth about my enlistment. Every time I saw him, he made nothing but disparaging remarks about the military and everyone in it, including me.

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The house was festively lit. Birthday's were always celebrated big at the Dualla house. Friends and family were invited and no expense was spared. Cake, ice cream, streamers, balloons and everyone dressed up. The alcohol flowed freely and the backyard was lit with dozens of sparkling lights.

"I have an announcement to make," Dee said hesitantly to the group that had gathered to celebrate her 25th birthday. She'd been promoted to Petty Officer Second Class and wanted to share the good news. The people seated around the table on the back porch of her family's spacious home all looked at her expectantly, but her father spoke before she could.

"You finally gave up on your ridiculous military idea?" The scorn in his voice grated on her nerves and she turned to look at him, eyes flashing, as he finished off the Ambrosia in his tumbler.

"It's not something you 'give up', Dad. I've enlisted, which means I can't just resign or quit. I don't WANT to quit. I like like my job and I'm good-"

Her father's scoff cut her off. "It's not but a bunch of emotional cripples and patriotic fools," her father retorted, the derision still dripping from his tongue.

"And which am I?" As much as she didn't want to make a scene at her birthday party, Dee found herself unable to stop the inevitable fight with her father. Again.

Her mother put a hand on her father's forearm and he didn't answer. Instead, her mother said calmly, "I think we're just wondering why a pretty girl like you would choose the military when so many other options were open to you." Dee shook her head, unwilling to make nice, yet again, for the sake of appearances. Her fork went gently onto her plate as she stood, placing her napkin on her chair.

"I wanted to say I believed in something and mean it." Without another word, she turned and headed into the house. A sudden yank on her arm stopped her and she found herself looking up into her father's eyes.

"You walk out of this house-"

This time, Dee cut him off. "Don't worry. I don't want to see you ever again."
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It was the last time I talked to my father and to this day, I wish I'd told him that I didn't mean it. Because I believed in him. I like to believe that I'm a hardworking, generous person. And I had to get that from somewhere. I know I got it from my dad.

But the guilt on the morning after was the worst.



Anastasia 'Dee' Dualla
Battlestar Galactica
521 Words

And if you're missing me
You better keep it to yourself
Cause coming back around here
Would be bad for your health
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Sure, she'd done it to herself. And sure, she'd listened to a lot of ridicule in doing so.

"He only married her because he couldn't have Starbuck."

"He only married her because Starbuck married Anders."

"He only married her because-"

Because, because, because.

She'd only married HIM because. Or maybe it was 'in spite of'. In spite of the fact that he loved Starbuck. In spite of the fact that he couldn't have the woman he wanted. In spite of the fact that he flaunted his half-assed affair in front of her and most of the fleet.

And even then, she'd put up with it. She took him back when he'd said he was sorry. Maybe she'd only taken him back because NOT taking him back would have cast a bigger shadow on him, and on his father: someone she would never disrespect. The amount of admiration she had for William Adama would far outweigh the amount of discomfort and humiliation she could (and would) put up with from his son. Dee could never have looked at herself in the mirror again if she'd disappointed the Admiral.

The son who pushed her aside when he didn't need her and clung to her when he did. The son who used her to make a statement to the woman he loved while loving her, too. The son who did far more to disrespect his father and those closest to him than Anastasia Dualla could EVER have done.

Lee Adama, the son. Lee Adama, the hero. Mr. Lee Adama, the civilian, given his walking papers and a plaque, by his wife, in front of the crew of Galactica.

And what did he do? He made a joke. Ill timed at best and callous at worst, Dee smiled, as she always did. "Goodbye, Lee."

A hug and she was back in CIC by the end of the hour. She certainly hoped that by simply wearing her wedding band she wasn't expected to take him back if he changed his mind.

Again.

She wasn't sure she was that strong.


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Dee Dualla
357 Words (not including lyrics)
Battlestar Galactica